


And now what?

by Cochrane



Category: Beelzebub (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-10 14:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cochrane/pseuds/Cochrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It lasted for maybe ten or twenty seconds, although it seemed much longer at the time. For these twenty seconds, it was pure and utter bliss. In second twenty-one, the world became incredibly more complicated than it had ever been before for either of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It lasted for maybe ten or twenty seconds, although it seemed much longer at the time. For these twenty seconds, it was pure and utter bliss. In second twenty-one, the world became incredibly more complicated than it had ever been before for either of them.

* * *

Oga Tatsumi was a handsome, strong and intelligent man, who never, ever got confused. At least according to himself. The strategy for not getting confused had always been easy enough: If something confusing happened, either punch it or ignore it until it goes away. But the thing right now… it was confusing as hell, punching felt wrong, and he was not certain if this was something he could ignore. Or wanted to. That left only the super-secret special fallback option.

“Yo, Furuichi,” he shouted as he jumped over the garden wall. Furuichi was lying on a blanket, clearly perfectly happy about a lazy sunday afternoon. The fact that Alaindelon was nowhere to be seen might have had something to do with it. Well, no time to be considerate now.

“I’m gonna tell you a story about a beautiful prince right now, but I gotta warn you: No stupid interruptions. I’ll punch you right into orbit if you even start to say, ‘Wait, what, you kissed Hilda?’”

“Wait, what, you ki…”

A punch cut him off. He looked at Oga accusingly, but Oga refused to feel guilty. Sure, Oga had asked Furuichi for help and was thus under an obligation to act nice, but the warning should have taken care of that. If that idiot couldn’t listen, it was his own damn fault. Plus, Baby Beel was totally happy that someone got punched, so Furuichi was overruled anyway.

“Same thing goes for ‘Oh, my Hilda, how could you?’ and all that stuff”, added Oga, just in case. It wasn’t his business if Furuichi made a fool of himself, but he could be annoying at times. Plus, if Furuichi started making perverted comments about Hilda now… Oga had no idea why, but he felt that he should stop that somehow.

It took Furuichi a few seconds to find something to say. Oga’s guess was that he had a big list of annoying shouts that wanted to get out, but the threat of punches kept them in. Finally, the silver-haired boy simply asked how it happened.

That wasn’t a problem. Oga had been thinking about it without stop for the past… he looked at a watch. Huh, had it only been ten minutes?

Hilda hadn’t liked being left behind by Oga’s recent power-ups. She wanted to train without holding back, and he was the only one who could take it. On the other hand, he had always wanted to know what Hilda was really capable of. So they had found themselves in a dojo in training clothes.

At first, he had wanted to hold back, because he really did not like see Hilda being hurt. That was normal, right? But Hilda was having none of it. The fight had become fast, hard and vicious. A few drops of blood flew. But most importantly, it was fun. Hilda kept smiling and laughing throughout it all. Oga was enjoying himself even more than in fights against Toujou. Baby Beel, who had taken the role of referee, was cheering both of them enthusiastically.

In the end, Oga had the upper hand. He had Hilda pinned against the wall, her sword way out of reach in the other corner. She was thinking about ways to get out, so he moved in closer, in order to keep her put and perhaps gloat a bit. But then… did he see something? No idea. But he definitely felt her body heat and smelled her scent. Following some unknown instinct, he moved her head closer, just like she did with hers…

“And that’s how it happened,” he said to Furuichi. No need to tell him about how good it felt. Nor about all the memories of her that flashed in his head, Or the ideas about protecting her forever. Some things weren’t meant to be told, and while Oga had no idea where these thoughts had come from or what they meant, he was certain that they were part of that group.

The rest of the story was quickly told. Beel had begun shouting “Ai! Dabuuh!” more enthusiastically ever, and given them a thumbs-up sign. That interruption caused them to stop. He didn’t tell Furuichi how he, at first, wanted to just do it again. He skipped over some of the doubt that appeared the next moment, too. Kissing Hilda? That’s… well… he wasn’t sure if he could put it in coherent thoughts, let alone words, but there was a vague fear that he had just broken something he would have liked to keep. Hilda wasn’t a big help either; she just looked at him with a questioning look, blushing, and a bit helpless. For a second, he thought she had lost her memory again, but something her eyes told him no; she was just as confused as he was. They mumbled some vague excuses—which became “other important tasks” when he told this to Furuichi—and went away at a brisk pace. One might have said they fled, but Hilda and Oga didn’t flee, so whatever they did could never be called that, got it?

While the story was being told, Furuichi had been sitting, listening, and occasionally asked questions for clarification. To Oga, it looked as if he was a bit jealous. What could you do, though? It was not like it was Oga’s fault.

“So what are you gonna do now?” asked the silver-haired creep finally.

Oga had half a mind to scream “I don’t know, that’s why I’m here, you idiot!”, but that wouldn’t do. There was a reputation he had to hold up. Besides, if he admitted ignorance, then Furuichi would probably ask questions that Oga didn’t want to answer.

The shortest answer was that he would really like to do it again, because it felt good at the time. But then Furuichi would ask for details. Besides, he knew that it would not be that simple.

“Are you and Hilda a couple now?” continued Furuichi. Damn that guy. Couldn’t he just once accept silence as an answer?

Well, okay. Were they a couple? For that, he’d have to… ask Hilda. About the kiss. And what it meant. Not a scary thought, right? A manly man like Oga could totally do it, right? He noticed something like panic setting in. Did he want her to say yes? Did he want to ask her? What if she said yes?

Suddenly, he thought of another possibility. What if she said no? For some reason, that thought was even more scary than her saying yes. Would she say no? Oga had always considered himself to be good-looking, and he had certainly saved her a few times from mortal peril, but was that enough? She had told him that he was Baby Beel’s father, but he had always thought that this was something else entirely. Maybe she already had someone else in the demon world. Given how often she disappeared there, it was certainly possible, and he had never bothered to ask. He had never really asked her about her life at all, he suddenly realized. That probably counted against him.

So what would happen if she did say no? She wouldn’t go away. She hadn’t come here for him either. They’d still be sitting next to each other each day, only he would have made a total fool of himself. To her, he’d be a creepy idiot, a total… Furuichi. Would they still be able to fight together if she wondered whether he was always trying to get her to… well, at least kiss? That seemed doubtful.

So on the one hand, something that felt good once. On the other, loosing your best friend other than Furuichi. Framed like that, the answer didn’t seem all that difficult.

“Furuichi, I need you to tell me everything you know about how to treat girls.”

The silver-haired boy looked hopeful. Clearly, he wasn’t happy that Oga had kissed Hilda, but he sure liked it when people stroked his ego.

“If I do all that, then kissing will stop.” continued Oga.

Furuichi’s face fell as if Oga had told him that Beel had just liquified all of his ero-magazines. And the store where Furuichi bought them, too. Again. 

“Why?”, he asked.

“You idiot!” shouted Oga, because he felt like an idiot right now, and it was only right to share that feeling. “I never wanted any of that demon stuff. I am just a normal teenager, and I don’t want my life to be any more complicated! That’s just annoying!”

He felt smug. Yeah, that would work. Nip all that complication in the bud. No need to think about whether it was a good idea or not. No need to think about what she thought. No need to think about what she was to him. No need to think about what would or could grow from this. And no need to fear the answer to any of these questions.

Sadly, Furuichi wasn’t buying it. He rolled his eyes. So did Baby Beel, the little traitor! And Oga had put on his best lying face, too. Damn, he needed to train it more. It was hard being always so straightforward.

“You’re a lying stupid idiot!”, shouted Furuichi all of a sudden. “This kiss isn’t something you can take back! If you like Hilda…”

Another punch interrupted him. Oga really didn’t like Furuichi calling him stupid. At least not when he was right.

Most importantly, Oga realized that he had to end this discussion. It was pretty obvious what Furuichi was going to say. Listening to it would only weaken Oga’s resolve. That way, all the confusion and fear would start again.

“Thank you for your help!”, he shouted, hoping that Furuichi would not notice his insecurity. Sure, there was the punch, but with any luck, Furuichi would file it under “completely random”. With a big leap over the garden wall, Oga disappeared again.

* * *

Alright, no reason to panic, thought Hilda. She could deal with this. Sure, technically, this was her first kiss, but she had seen all the soap operas, so she knew about it, right? Nothing to worry about.

Oh, like hell it was! That stupid, annoying man! They had a perfectly normal sparring session, and then out of nowhere, he kissed her! What was that all about? If she knew him at all, then he only did it because it just occurred to him. He would so pay for this… except that her story wasn’t any better. There was no denying that she kissed back. Why had she done that? She was a royal nurse maid. She didn’t just go ahead and kiss people, other than the young master. What exactly had happened here?

She had gone to a little park to try and sort her thoughts, but if anything, it only got worse. Her mind just went in circles as she sat on the bench. It wasn’t just a kiss, was it? There was a feeling of… something more. And she had no idea whether she liked that.

Based on the soap operas, the best solution for dealing with completely unexpected kisses, almost-kisses, the odd marriage and other similar events was to pick a good friend and talk about it. Hilda had never been a fan of that approach. She had always tried to solve her own problems and let others deal with theirs. Otherwise, how could she ever be the best possible maid to the young master, and justify Miss Iris’s trust in her?

But this wasn’t a usual problem by any means. Talking to someone might just be worth a try. If only she knew someone who was suitable.

Lamia? She was her closest friend. But she was also ten years old, and her experience with relationships was limited to ignoring Lord En. Oga’s family? Misaki was nice. She also thought that Hilda and Oga were already married. The deception was helpful at times, but right now, it would only confuse things more, not less. Alaindelon must have once kissed someone, given that he had a daughter, but she didn’t want to think about the details of this too much. Besides, his judgement in romantic areas did leave something to be desired anyway. Aoi Kunieda was something of a friend… no. Just no. That only left…

Hilda stood up, and immediately bumped into someone carrying a family-size bag of chips and a fire extinguisher.

“Yolda?”, said Hilda. She had never seen her sister wear a business outfit before, but it suited her. For a second, Hilda wondered whether she should try some different clothes, too. Would Tatsumi like it…? No, stop these thoughts!

“Hilda? What are you doing here?” replied Yolda. Without waiting for a reply, she continued, “Listen, I’d looooove to stay and chat about your boring life, but the young master wants these”—she held up the chips—“and if he doesn’t get them soon enough, he’ll need this”—she held up the fire extinguisher—“so I really have to…”

Without thinking, Hilda just blurted out the first and really only thing on her mind.

“I just kissed Oga!”

Yolda stopped in her tracks, and blinked a few times. Then, a dangerous smile appeared on her lips.

“Maybe the young master can wait after all. Tell me everything!”

* * *

Hilda was not happy telling the story to Yolda of all people. She knew that her sister was already looking for a way to annoy her with this knowledge. Right now, she was probably preparing a mental list of people who Hilda did not want to know about the kiss. On the other hand, she was family, and she undeniably had experience with kissing. Quite a lot, in fact, with a lot more different people than Hilda thought appropriate, but bringing this up right now might not be helpful.

So she told the story, trying to remain as detached and technical as possible. But Yolda would not accept that.

“What was it like?”, she asked with a smirk. “Like, on a scale of zero to ten?”

Eleven, but Hilda wasn’t about to say that out loud. Not that she needed to; her blush was doing all the work for her. Yolda was enjoying it far more than she should have.

“That much, eh? Nice! That reminds me, you never apologized for destroying my chance to try that with him. No need to be formal, just lend him to me for an hour or so. Shirt optional.”

Hilda felt anger rise inside her, but she tried to hide it. That was just what Yolda wanted. To be honest, she was doing a good job of it. Asking Hilda to hand over her Oga, even as a joke… wait, had Hilda just thought of Oga as _her_ Oga?

“Well, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to tell you now,” said Yolda. “You know how it works and what happens now. Our parents gave us both the same talk, you know, with all the euphemisms… Oh, I want a little niece!”

Did Yolda want to be cut in two or what? Just saying… that… out loud, seriously! It was just a kiss! Nothing more! Oga and Hilda weren’t gonna… do… right?

Of course, Hilda knew that Yolda was just teasing her again. Sometimes it seemed as if that woman had never left elementary school. But beyond all the crap, maybe there was a point. How would this continue? Sure, right now, the kiss had been amazing. And Oga was… a really good man. Possibly more. Way more. He made her feel safe. He cared for the young master and he cared for her. She cared for him. And he was not exactly bad looking either. Being with him was fun. But that was just normal friendship… at least that’s what she used to think before. If it got any further, and then ended… and then what about the young master?

Hilda’s efforts to maintain a stoic facade apparently were on the verge of failing. At least they weren’t good enough to fool her sister anymore. The look in her eyes… oh no. Was Yolda feeling pity for her now?  


“Listen up, sis,” she said. “You look like you’re over-analyzing again. What matters is that it felt good, and you’re both totally into each other anyway, you just don’t know it yet. So the next step is easy: You go up to him, and you kiss him again, and then you’ll see what happens. He’s not gonna kick you out; after all, you’re almost as hot as me.”

Hilda had to admit that this had a certain appeal to it. No thinking, just doing what felt right… it was actually fairly close to the way Oga fought. It was reckless, dangerous, stupid, and for him, very successful. She kind of liked that about him, but she didn’t like saying so.

But that didn’t change the fact that it was still stupid and reckless. Oga had the young master’s infinite force to help him out of any tight spot. There was nothing comparable here. Hilda had one shot, and if that failed now or down the line…

What if it failed? Did Oga even… well, he did save her life whether she wanted him to or not, so clearly he was not completely indifferent. But getting there had taken a long, long time. A single reckless decision could break it. And then they’d be back where they were, trying to get rid of each other, only this time with the memory of what had been. what would happen to the young master? Would Oga try to get rid of him, too? Hilda did not like that thought one bit, not after seeing how close father and son had become, but it was not without precedent. Or would the young master choose sides? Hilda loved the young master with all her heart, but she had no illusions about who had the stronger bond.

“No”, said Hilda finally. This was all too damn confusing. She didn’t just have a job or a mission, she had a calling. It was to care for her young master. There was no room for starting something… anything with Oga. She told Yolda as much. What she neglected to mention was that this approach also made everything a lot simpler. By definition, Oga was just another of her master’s servants. No need to think about what else he might be to her. If she didn’t ask, he couldn’t say no.

“Thank you for your assistance,” she coldly, although she was not even entirely certain what this assistance had been. “I’ll be off, preparing my master’s evening meal. Oh, and if you tell anyone about this…”

Yolda shook her head in defeat. “Don’t tell me you’re hiding from real life behind your ‘calling’ again? Lord Beelzebub won’t thank you, and neither would Miss Iris if she knew. I won’t tell anyone if you promise to reconsider.”

Hilda turned to walk away. The last comment had shaken her, but her resolve was clear. Yes, Miss Iris might have said something like that, or maybe she might not. There was no point speculating now. The last thing she heard as she left was Yolda calling out,

“I still want that niece!”


	2. Reunion

It was getting near evening, and Oga was facing an incredible problem: Soon, he would see Hilda again. There was no way she wouldn’t return in time for family dinner, unless she had been abducted again. Being far away from Beel always made her cranky. Well, no wonder, she was his mother.

What would he say to her? He had a mind to say nothing at all. If she wanted to talk, she’d start it. If not, then not. In reality, he wanted to say something, but he didn’t have the slightest clue what exactly.

“You don’t have such problems, huh?” said Oga to Baby Beel. “For you, it’s all dah.”

“Dah!” answered the demon lord happily. “Ai! Dah-Buh!” Yeah, he was really living the life. Oga absent-mindedly ruffled his boy’s hair, which earned him another happy “Dah!”.

Suddenly, something hit him in the back and sent him flying. The air began smelling of ozone.

Confused, he stood up and looked at his assailant. Let’s see… two of them, average human height, ridicolous green uniform, gills… oh damn.

“Behemoth’s pillar squids again? Didn’t you guys finally learn your lesson?” he asked.

“We did. It was: Don’t give you time to prepare.”, said one of them with a smirk. Let’s see… scars, beard, cigar. Oga was sure he had fought against him before, but he couldn’t remember his name. Something with snake? “Going after the maid first and giving you time for training was dangerous. Doing it twice was stupid. This time you will face the full…”

Oga yawned. He didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened. Seriously, always with these demons seeking a fight, he was so not in the mood for that right now. A fight would have been nice to clear his head, but since his last training fight had ended on such a confusing note, he was not sure if that would work. Instead, he turned to walk away.

“Wha… you’re not going to fight us?” said the demon. Finally, Oga remembered the name again: Basilisk. Damn, that was a stupid name. “You are a disgrace to the bond between contractor and demon king!”

Oga kept on walking, while Beel replied with a flat “dah”. He wasn’t any more interested in dealing with these gilled fools either.

“Erm… your fighting sucks! You defeated Jabberwock only with luck!”, continued the demon, but Oga just kept on walking. He had never been in the habit of listening to insults, and he wasn’t going to start now.

“What else… you stink! You smell really, really bad! Like poo!” Oga didn’t bother to react, but if anything, that got the demons only more angry.

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! You and your friends all have muscles instead of brains! That T-shirt does not suit you! Your demon maid girlfriend is a whore!”

That stopped Oga in his tracks. Oh no, they didn‘t… He turned around to look at them. They were smiling, now that they had found an opening.

“In fact, all your t-shirt choices suck!” said the other one. This guy had the good sense to wear a name tag, which read Yata. Basilisk quickly shut him up. “Your girlfriend is a huge failure! Only one kid to watch after and still she ends up captured and stabbed all the time! It’s like she doesn’t even care!”

“Dah-Buh!” said Baby Beel angrily, shaking his tiny fist. Oga agreed completely. He put on his scariest smile and began radiating power. The Pillar Heads started to look apprehensive all of a sudden.

“Okay, now you asked for it,” said Oga. “Zebul Blast!”

* * *

It took Hilda a few moments to notice it. She had been on the way home, thinking hard about what she’d do now. Part of her wasn’t sure whether she could see Oga now, but she absolutely did need to see the young master again, and the two were quite literally inseparable. Should she say something? If Oga wanted to talk about it, he could damn well bring up the topic himself… but what were the chances of that? And what should she say?

All these thoughts were interrupted by a sudden surge in demonic energy. Down the road, a familiar red flash appeared. Oga and the young master were fighting!

Hilda began to run. A demon in the uniform of Behemoth’s pillar squad flew through the air. He had probably been hit by Oga, but he kept his balance admirably well. This was a serious fight.

When she arrived, Oga was already hard at work. Several electricity poles were hanging at dangerous angles, and the ground was showing scorch marks. The two Pillar Heads were fighting with Oga, but he was able to keep up well. The young master was giving his all, too.

Yata suddenly appeared behind Oga. Hilda heard herself shout “Tatsumi!” to warn him before she had even made the conscious choice. That was a mistake.

Oga looked at her, saw her worried face, and – froze. The demon took the opportunity and landed a gigantic punch that knocked the air right out of him. Hilda cringed. This was her fault. In her selfish thoughts, she had completely forgotten that Tatsumi was just as confused as she was, and her presence would have been distracting. If only she hadn’t…

A slap on the back sent her to her knees. Basilisk had managed to sneak up on her while she was occupied thinking about Oga. Damn it. She was completely useless today, wasn’t she?

She barely managed to roll out the way before he brought his axe down. Oga was still trying to get up. Time was running out. But with any luck, these demons would try to gloat. That was her chance.

“Did Behemoth authorize this?” she asked. “Did Jabberwock?”

“He’ll have no problem once we’ve won”, said Basilisk. “Anyway, who’s to say that you didn’t attack us? It’s not like you’ll be able to make a statement once we’re through with you.”

Hilda did not like the his smile, but on the other hand, it meant that Jabberwock had not started a new fight against them. That was reassuring.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement. Oga had gotten up again and was running to her.

“Oy, where you goin’?” asked Yata. “We’re not done here yet!”

Basilisk looked over at the commotion. That was Hilda’s chance. A swift kick to the knee made him stagger. It was just long enough for her to get back to her feet.

Oga appeared next to her. She drew her sword and started to strike…

“Cute couple!” said Yata, his voice full of bile. “Why don’t you give him a kiss?”

Oga and Hilda both froze.

* * *

Kaiser Emperana de Beelzebub IV had reached his boiling point. Mommy and Daddy were supposed to be the smart ones who knew everything, weren’t they? But now they all acted all weird for no reason at all. This was no fun. He had to take extreme measures.

With a loud “Dah”, he hit first Daddy and Mommy in the head. They shouted “Baby Beel!” and “Young Master!”, but at least they were moving again.

“Aih! Dah-Buh!” he said and pointed at the gill people. Daddy looked first at them and then at Mommy. Then he nodded.

“Baby Beel is right, Hilda. Let’s show them we mean business!”

“Agreed,” said Mommy. “This is getting annoying.”

Yeah! Finally, the fight was back on. Daddy was throwing heavy punches. Mommy was moving so fast that Beel had trouble seeing her, and so did her opponents.

At first, the gilled guys were smiling. After a minute, they were seriously worried. Mommy and Daddy were working better together than ever before. There were punches, sword slashes and Daddy even threw a mailbox. Whenever one of the Pillars looked like he could get a punch in, Mommy and Daddy would switch and attack from the other direction. It was awesome! Beel had so much fun that one of Daddy’s punches threw a demon right through a garden wall.

* * *

Talking to Oga might have been a problem, but fighting by his side felt like the most natural thing on the world, thought Hilda. Whatever she did, he had her back, and vice versa.

The Pillars were clearly getting tired and had trouble standing, but they kept coming, unwilling to surrender. Hilda was not surprised. Jabberwock was not kind to folks who disobeyed orders, but he was even less pleasant with people who ran from a fight, no matter what the chances were.

It made little difference. She and Tatsumi delivered a final joint sword/punch combo that knocked both Pillars on their backs and into the nearest lamp posts. Basilisk tried to stand up again, but after a second, realized that it wasn’t working. Oga and Hilda had won.

“Dah-Buh!” said the young master, and held up his tiny hand. Oga met him for a high five. Hilda chuckled. The young master and his father were just too adorable.

“You, too, is what he’s saying”, said Oga, and the young master expectantly held up his hand. Hilda was not usually one for big celebrations after winning a fight, but if the young master insisted… Hilda gave him a high five, too. It felt good. Finally, all the confusion from earlier was forgotten. Right now, they were happy, and that was all that counted.

Suddenly, Hilda saw Oga’s fist flowing at her face. She couldn’t dodge, but the punch wasn’t meant for her anyway. Surprised, she turned around, and saw Yata, with a bloody face, now finally down. Apparently she hadn’t noticed him approach. Stupid! She couldn’t allow herself to be so distracted when protecting the young master.

“And stay down!”, shouted Oga. Hilda turned around… and suddenly noticed that his face was really close to hers. Judging from the way he looked, he was just as surprised. She could feel the heat coming from his body and smell his sweat. Following some instinct, she moved closer. He did the same…

“You make me sick”, said Basilisk suddenly. “All this happy family stuff… It’s like you don’t even care about destroying the world any–“

Without any conscious thought, Hilda threw her full demonic force at him. He screamed shortly, then collapsed. A faint aroma of sulphur appeared in the air, and puffs of smoke came from where Hilda hat hit him. If not for the faint breathing, one could have thought that he had died.

Too bad. Hilda half a mind to finish the job. She hadn’t felt this kind of anger in a long time, if at all. Anger and frustration. If not for this guy, she… she… oh.

The thought sobered her immediately. She looked back at Oga, who was trying his best to look noncommittal. Of course, he couldn’t fool her. He had always been a terrible liar. At the moment, though, she was willing to play along.

“Right”, she said. “Good fight. I’ll… erhm, I’ll…”

“Yes, erhm, me too,” began Oga meekly, as the young master rolled his eyes. “Then we’ll… I mean, I will… and you…”

Hilda perfectly understood his unease, but her own would only grow if she stood there to wait until he finished stammering. Instead, she mumbled a quick goodbye and turned to leave.

Before she could take a step, however, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Oga said, “Wait, Hilda. This isn’t working.”

She turned around to face him again. He looked right in her eyes, with no hint of embarrassment that she could see. Just pure honesty.

And then he said it. She would never have expected him to say these three little words, and he seemed to be struggling with expressing the feeling, but still, he said it.

„We gotta talk.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay! In the days since chapter one, there’s been applying for jobs, job interviews, signing contracts, building a new model railroad and the Eurovision Song Contest. Plus, bad weather, which is a problem since I do most of my writing outside in the garden. I’m afraid many of these factors can also impact my ability to deliver chapter three in the near term, although in theory, it should be better now.
> 
> I’ve been asked whether the rating will change. No, it will stay “T” from the start to the end. If that frustrates you, feel free to treat “kiss” as a euphemism for something else.


	3. We gotta talk

‘We gotta talk’

Immediately after saying these words, Oga Tatsumi had regretted them, and it was still going on. What exactly was it he wanted to say? And how could he say it? He had hoped that the walk back home would give him time to find answers, but now he and Hilda were sitting in his bedroom, completely silent, except for one incredibly annoyed Baby Beel.

He replayed all the thoughts he had had since the kiss, hoping to find some clue. Of course, he didn’t. But thinking too much about the first sentence would not help. Sometimes you needed to throw the first punch, even though you knew it would be useless, just to get the fight started. He had suggested a talk, and he was going to talk, consequences be damned! So he stood up, looked Hilda in the eye, and announced,

“How about that weather?”

Hilda looked at him bewildered for a second, then lowered her head into her hand and let out a sigh of exhaustion. For a second, he thought she was going to hit him. Well, okay, a different approach. He thought about saying something about Gohan-kun, but before he could, she spoke up.

“So why did you kiss me?” she asked simply.

“Wha… you kissed me!”

It wasn’t the most original of responses, but Oga felt that it was still valid. Apparently, he wasn’t wrong, because he thought he saw Hilda blush a little. It was gone as fast as it had arrived, though.

“That was not my question. You took part. Very actively, I recall. You certainly didn’t try to stop it. Why? What were you thinking?”

Ah yes, the big question. Oga felt that she did deserve a response, but he didn’t have one. Not that she expected him to. She took a deep breath, and then continued, more agitated.

“Were you even thinking, you buffoon? You never do! You just do whatever you feel. You never listen to what I say, and you never say what you think, because you don’t think if you can help it! You’re the most frustrating person I’ve ever had the displeasure to know!”

“Erm… eh…” Oga began to stutter. He would have liked to prove her wrong by saying exactly what he thought, but nothing came to mind. Could it be that she was right? Of course she was. He had to be honest with himself: She could see right through him most of the time. It was annoying. And all of that nagging all the time. Why did he put up with her?

“No, of course you have nothing to say to this”, she continued. “How could it be different? You never think about me! You take the young master away, you save me when I don’t want to be saved, you kiss me, you keep complaining about my food! I’ve had it until here!”

Oh come on, that was just not fair. He had suggested a nice, civil talk, and now she was just using it as an excuse to complain about him. Besides, she had done like half the things on the list to him, and then some. Who did that ungrateful woman think she was? He didn’t have to take that, and he wouldn’t. He would fight back.

“Oh yeah, like you’re any different!”, he said. “You’re not some kind of saint, bitch. It’s always just ‘Oga, go die,’ ‘Oga, let me kill you,’ ‘Oga, give Beel your immortal soul’ with you! And you kissed me, too! And your food is really that bad!”

In truth, he never cared much about her death threats. Lots of people made those. The food, though…

“My food at least has taste!”, she screamed. “All you’re eating are different versions of warm, wet paper! You’re corrupting the young master with your complaining!”

“Dah-Buh!”, said Beel, in agreement. Or happy that he was mentioned. Or just because he wanted to. Oga knew he had an ally in him concerning Hilda’s food, though. Ha! He had won this point, and there was nothing she could do about it. Based on her pout, she knew it, too. Time for something else, then…

“You keep getting in trouble and I have to get you out. It’s really annoying, damn woman!”, he said. He wasn’t really certain whether he could call that Hilda’s fault, but he wasn’t going to just let this subject lie.

“You fool! When did I ever ask you to save me? You keep putting the young master in danger, and you keep putting yourself in danger! Do you know how much that worries me?”

“Dah!”, said Beel again. Oga looked at his son and realized something odd: The baby was smiling. On second thought, so was he. This was actually starting to be fun!

“You just came into my life without even asking! I never wanted to be the father of a demon lord of the leader of any school or anything like that. Now I’ve got all these people who call me their leader and a son and a… a… you to deal with!” 

For a second, he wondered what he should have called her. Servant? Maid? Mother? She was none of those, at least not only, and nothing else he could think of seemed to fit. Hilda was unique.

“Oh, you’re one to talk. You have no idea how a parent of a demon lord should act. I expected someone ruthless or completely crazy. Someone to who the young master and I would be mere tools, and who would in turn be a mere tool for us. But you, you actually care! You try to hide it, but on the inside you’re completely soft for the young master and me.”

Now Hilda was smiling, too. He hadn’t ever thought about it, but it seemed that both of them really liked their little arguments. Suddenly, Oga had an idea. Five minutes ago, he would have rejected it outright, or possibly become embarrassed. But now, in the heat of battle, it just slipped out.

“Bitch, I know why you kissed me. You’re totally into me! You keep acting like you’re not, but when it gets really tough, suddenly it’s all ‘please don’t die’, ‘thanks for saving me’ and so on. You like me, and that’s a fact.”

“Hah!” Hilda laughed. “Me? Into you? In your dreams, sewer rat. No, it is you who is into me. Why else all the saving? If I’m such a problem, you could have gotten rid of me hundreds of times over.”

Furuichi had told him the same thing before, and Oga had always dismissed it. You saved people because that’s just what you do. Oga had saved Furuichi and Mikki, too, and nobody in their right mind would say that he was into them. Hearing it from Hilda felt particularly wrong. It sounded as if she wasn’t worth saving otherwise, and that was just stupid. He was about to tell her that, but then he realized that she was just teasing him. Okay then, he could do that, too.

“Oh hell no. Don’t get fucking ideas! Who would be into a hot awesome strong woman with a heart of gold like you? It’s absolutely insane! No, it’s you who can’t resist all that manliness I’ve got going on here!”

A second too late, he realized that this might have been a step too far, but she didn’t mind.

“Please. Just because you’re easy on the eyes, stronger than anyone I know, and the best possible father to the child that is like a son to me, doesn’t mean I’d be attracted to you.” With a glint of mischievousness in her eyes, she added, “You’d be terrible as a boyfriend. There’s no hint of romance in your brain. You don’t know the first thing about how to treat a woman.”

“Oh yes I do! It’s ‘Don’t be Furuichi’. And seriously, as if I’d want to date you. You and romance? All you ever do is maid stuff.”

He wanted to add that he didn’t know whether she ever had done anything for herself rather than just for Beel or that crazy king guy, apart from watching the odd soap opera. She certainly deserved it, and he was sure that Beel thought so, too, but that didn’t fit right now.

“You? A date?”, she said in a mocking voice. “I can’t imagine why anyone would do that, other than entertainment value. It would go down in history as the worst date ever, because you’re a pathetic dung beetle.“

That was the best insult she could come up with? Oh, she was loosing this one, too. He was going to make sure of it.

“Bitch, is that a challenge?” asked Oga. For just a tiny moment, Hilda seemed to hesitate, but then she nodded. He was vaguely aware that this was actually a big deal, but then he pushed that thought away. Overthinking never led to anything. They both wanted this, whatever this was, and they were going to do it their own way.

“Alright then, fucking accepted!” he said. “Here, tomorrow evening, 7 pm. Wear something nice, bitch.”

They shook hands. For half a second, Oga thought that Hilda would kiss him again, or maybe he would kiss her, but then she left. Oh well, maybe if the date went well…

He was surprised that he had this thought. No, actually not. The surprise was that he didn’t try to suppress it right away. That talk sure had changed things. It was an awesome idea he’d had there.

There was just one problem: Hilda was quite right when she had said that he didn’t know anything about dating. He was going to have to do this one right. Maybe it was time to call on some help…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea whether you sometimes need to throw the first punch just to get the fight started. Therefore do not take that as life advice. My approach has always been to not get into fights, and it’s worked out pretty well.

**Author's Note:**

> After causing so much death and mayhem, I thought it was time to do something normal, fluffy, to atone for all the distress I caused some of you. For this one, I guarantee a happy ending and no deaths. Of course, Oga and Hilda may have to do some work to get there…
> 
> Special thanks go to Secret29, Frayner and particularly DJ Blonde for reading early drafts of this first chapter and helping with plot and character description. If you like it, it’s only thanks to them. Conversely, all faults are mine (especially since these nice people haven’t read the final version at the time of posting). Thank you!
> 
> A few notes about canon: I’m basing this on the manga; hence Yolda has never actually kissed Oga (they did in the anime, if I recall correctly). I’m also assuming that demons are as old as they appear to be, as recently confirmed by Hilda. All that talk about demons being hundreds of years old is based on one fan translation of one single scene; no other source, and not even other translations of the same scene, include that figure.


End file.
